Anxiety Therapy Techniques: My Anxiety Toolbox

I enjoy working with anxiety management because it represents a high energy that can be effectively addressed. In child play therapy, I was struck by how simply providing a safe, open, and nonjudgmental space for children to express their feelings can be powerful for emotional healing. This environment helps them transform generalized distorted anxiety and anger into specific, short-lived anxiety and anger, which are much healthier and more manageable. I believe this principle applies to adults as well. This is why an accepting and nurturing relationship between the counselor and the client is vital; it allows for these feelings to be expressed and explored freely, facilitating the healing process. Hence, to a large extent, I believe that therapy is shaped by the therapist herself or himself, utilizing various therapeutic techniques.

A philosophy I hold dearly is that instead of controlling feelings, we need to befriend them, especially in the context of anxiety management. I often use this analogy in my sessions. Emotions are like our children banging on the door asking for attention (fair enough!). Often our response is to shoo them away, ignore them, or tell them they are bad or we are too busy. This does not help. They might bang harder, or withdraw into depression. A more healthy way, which aligns with emotional healing, is to open the door, acknowledge, and validate them. This reminds me of an example of my then two-year-old son. He was asking for ice cream before bedtime. My husband’s firm decline led to tears. Being told to stop, ironically, escalated the crying. So, I put him on my lap and said, “You are sad because you can’t have the ice cream.” He nodded. Tears stopped, because his feelings were understood and respected, a key aspect of effective therapeutic techniques.

Anxiety is often rooted in a weakened sense of self, which can be buried in the unconscious due to our defenses. I prefer using sand tray and drawing (Interactive Drawing Therapy) as therapeutic techniques to bring these feelings to the surface, as they are less threatening. For instance, a person might experience social anxiety because she believes, 'People reject me because I am not likable. Therefore, I am worthless.' Once the core of this insecurity is out in the open, we can begin effective anxiety management by challenging it with methods like self-compassion and counter evidence, paving the way for emotional healing.

Another useful idea for anxiety management is the concept of fact vs. thought from Action Commitment Therapy. For instance, if the core of what bothers a person is 'I am useless,' I would encourage her/him to critically evaluate whether this is a thought or a fact. If it is a thought (and most likely it is), we should acknowledge it and let it go as part of our emotional healing process. This therapeutic technique can help individuals move towards a healthier mindset.

Quite often, we worry about things that are beyond our control. Especially these days when we are experiencing a pandemic, the control we have over this global disaster is limited. We cannot flatten the curve overnight in the world, and in NZ, we cannot decide how long the border control will be and how many jobs are lost. However, we can practice effective anxiety management by counting our blessings, limiting our time following the news, and focusing on the things we can control, like reading a good book and spending quality time with the children. When we reflect on our actions, we realize that we even influenced the curve in NZ by abiding by social distancing and lockdown. Engaging in activities that empower us, such as emotional healing through self-care, gives us a sense of power and hope. Accepting the things we can’t control and using therapeutic techniques to manage our feelings can significantly reduce anxiety.

Anxiety is a secondary emotion, indicating that there is often a primary emotion lying beneath it. The role of anxiety here is to act as a protective mechanism, shielding us from more painful feelings such as hurt, grief, and fear. Engaging in therapy can facilitate emotional healing by helping to unearth these underlying feelings in a safe environment where they can be processed. By utilizing effective therapeutic techniques, we can acknowledge and accept our deepest experiences and emotions, making us less likely to be overwhelmed by anxiety. This approach is essential for effective anxiety management.

Anxiety is often considered a trapped energy that can be addressed through effective anxiety management techniques. After exploring its core, I sometimes facilitate emotional healing by using chair work. For instance, clients may engage in a dialogue with an imagined figure, such as a bullying manager, in an empty chair in the room. This therapeutic technique often empowers clients, helping them gain confidence and release tension.

Differentiation is another concept I advocate often, as it serves as an indicator of maturity and psychological health relevant to anxiety management. A new-born baby has no differentiation; they perceive their mothers as an extension of themselves. As we grow, we begin to develop differentiation, recognizing ourselves as separate from others. While no one is 100% differentiated, the more we achieve this, the less likely we are to be affected by how others perceive us. This advancement allows us to see our worth independently of external judgments, a crucial step in emotional healing. Ultimately, this process can be powerful in freeing us from anxiety, making it an essential aspect of various therapeutic techniques.

Anxiety can often be perceived as a lack of security, and effective anxiety management involves strengthening a sense of secure attachment. When I began my private practice, I was personally experiencing anxiety. As I lay in bed struggling to sleep at night, I contemplated the root of my fear: 'I am going to fail.' Upon realizing that this was merely a thought rather than an undeniable fact, my anxiety eased. The thought of my boys, their little faces, and the love we share lifted my spirits even further. I remembered how I used to soothe myself by thinking of my dad during my childhood. I am OK because my dad loves me, and I am OK because my boys love me. This love is unconditional, regardless of how well I am doing. Through these therapeutic techniques, I found I am safe and secure, allowing for emotional healing.

Anxiety can often be perceived as a lack of security, and effective anxiety management involves strengthening a sense of secure attachment. When I began my private practice, I was personally experiencing anxiety. As I lay in bed struggling to sleep at night, I contemplated the root of my fear: 'I am going to fail.' Upon realizing that this was merely a thought rather than an undeniable fact, my anxiety eased. The thought of my boys, their little faces, and the love we share lifted my spirits even further. I remembered how I used to soothe myself by thinking of my dad during my childhood. I am OK because my dad loves me, and I am OK because my boys love me. This love is unconditional, regardless of how well I am doing. Through these therapeutic techniques, I found I am safe and secure, allowing for emotional healing.